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Rating:  - A fine example of big-budget schlock
The most cruel, complimentary and accurate comment that could be made regarding this film is that it's probably the best thing that Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus ever produced. These two Israeli schlockmeisters have made more money from cheap, exploitive movies than probably anyone else in film history. Of course, this particular entry in the long line of cheesy Golan-Globus fare isn't as good or as interesting as it is because of them. Far more amazing than the film itself is the talent that they managed to assemble for this extravagantly goofy flick: celebrated horror director Tobe Hooper, cult screenwriter and director Dan O'Bannon, special effects wizard John Dykstra and composer Henry Mancini.
The plot, in summary: a space shuttle investigates a really long spacecraft near Halley's Comet. Inside the alien ship, an exploratory crew from the shuttle discovers a bunch of dead bat-like creatures and three snazzy, art deco sarcophagi containing three pale figures: a really, really, really hot chick and two fruity-looking guys. Following a series of incredibly bad decisions typical of horror film stupidity, the three creatures find their way to Earth, reveal themselves as vampires of a sort and start turning people into all kinds of zombies. The vampires have an unfair advantage because they're running amok in England, where the inhabitants don't own firearms, have a natural propensity for incredible gullibility and have created a soft, pink culture that's pretty much just ripe for the taking.
The chick vampire (hilariously named "Space Girl" in the film's credits) is portrayed by the pristine, impossibly gorgeous, perpetually nude Mathilda May. Space Girl actually possesses a number of attributes that make her similar to many of my ex-girlfriends: intense beauty, a hidden agenda and a tendency to suck the very life out of anyone who gets too close to her. Now, this is how it works: Space Girl and her male associates drain the titular life force out of people, who then become freakish zombies and seek out the life force of others, effectively doing the bulk of the vampires' hard work for them. When that time of the month swings around, the two (fabulous) guys drain the spirits of their victims and transfer them to Space Girl, who then transmits the energy of these human souls to her creepy-looking mothership. It's akin to a pyramid scheme, except that there's no money involved, they kill people and it really isn't like a pyramid scheme at all so never mind. Look, I watched this whole thing twice just to write this review and I'm starting to feel as though some of my life force was drained.
The screenplay for "Lifeforce" was adapted from Colin Wilson's novel "The Space Vampires," the story of which bears certain similarities to O'Bannon's own "Alien" screenplay. The story is inventive and features a number of novel plot twists, but also twice as many holes and some wince-inducing dialogue. I'm inclined to blame the latter on co-screenwriter Don Jakoby; it's difficult to accept that the man who wrote "Dark Star," "Alien" and even his own directorial debut, "Return of the Living Dead," could have scripted anything so insipid.
The performances are a mixed bag. It really is amazing to me that Steve Railsback has enjoyed (and squandered) so many lead roles, considering that he looks like something that I regurgitated and couldn't act his way out of a speeding ticket. Here, the dog-faced shlub overacts again, wailing like some stupid animal in lieu of human emoting and absolutely ruining every scene that he's in. The only explanation for his enduring career must involve photographs of studio heads in the act of murdering prostitutes. Firth and Stewart deliver typically convincing performances; next to Railsback, they look even more impressive than usual. May doesn't so much act as just woodenly recite lines, but that really doesn't matter; it's not as though she was cast in this movie because she has any acting talent.
Dykstra's effects are also presented with varied results; the best of them are extremely impressive, while the worst are at least silly enough to be amusing. There is something to be said for the fact that many effects are executed on an enormous scale, but so many of them are so amateurish that it's obvious that most of the less demanding effects had nothing to do with Dykstra. Mancini's score, while excellent, doesn't always seem congruous in certain scenes, and for good reason: it was originally a rejected score for Hitchcock's brilliant Frenzy!
While they're renowned for their cheapness, there's no denying that Golan-Globus put their mouths where their money was when producing this film: a budget of nearly $25 million bought not only top-notch talent, but also an enormous production. But costs are clearly cut in so many areas that the whole package still feels like the B-movie that it really isn't: Halley's Comet is an obvious matte painting; gravity on the space shuttle exists whenever the alternative isn't convenient; most of the models and miniatures look like models and miniatures. As with Dykstra and O'Bannon, I refuse to blame Hooper for the failings of this movie. Every scene is carefully framed and competently shot. But the film's editing is so atrocious and outtakes were reportedly so egregious (Hooper himself was annoyed by Golan and Globus's decision to cut a full 15 minutes of footage from the US release) that it almost seems as though the producers were trying to sabotage a project that they'd spent an enormous amount of money on. But in reality, this was nothing short of typical Golan-Globus incompetence, a trait that cost them this time: while moderately successful throughout Europe, North American box office sales for "Lifeforce" totaled approximately half of the movie's production costs.
It's easy to imagine how good this movie could have been if it had been produced by competent people. So much talent was squandered in "Lifeforce" that the movie is that rarest of cinematic failures: a big-budget flop that feels like a B-movie despite its lavish production.
Rating:  - The greatest naked space vampire zombies from Halley's Comet running amok in London end-of-the-world movie ever made
Danny Boyle was not the first person to realise that zombies can run like the clappers. That honour belongs to Lifeforce, which is, of course, the greatest naked space vampire zombies from Halley's Comet running amok in London end-of-the-world movie ever made. Tobe Hooper may have made a lot of crap, but for this deliriously demented epic sci-fi horror he deserves a place among the immortals. Plus it offers space vampire Mathilda May, the best thing to come out of France since Simone Simon, spending the entire movie naked. Which she does very, very well. Just bear in mind that while she is the most overwhelmingly feminine presence anyone on Earth has ever encountered, she's also "totally alien to this planet and our life form and totally dangerous." It's a pitch meeting I'd have loved to have sat in on: Astronauts from the British space program find three naked humanoid alien life forms inside a giant 150-mile long artichoke/umbrella shaped spaceship hidden in the tail of Halley's Comet filled with giant desiccated bats and bring them back to Earth with near apocalyptic results as they proceed to drain the population of London of their lifeforce amid much nudity, whirlpools of thunder and spit your coffee across the room direlogue ("I've been in space for six months, and she looks perfect to me." "Assume we know nothing, which is understating the matter." "Don't worry, a naked woman is not going to get out of this complex."). Oh, and we'll get the writers of Alien and Blue Thunder to write it with uncredited rewrites by the writer of Mark of the Devil, The Sex Thief and Eskimo Nell and the director of The Jonestown Monster. Sounds like a winner, here's $22m - have fun. And they do, they do.
True, there's enough promise in the raw material to have made something genuinely creepy and thought-provoking (at a time when AIDS hysteria was approaching its height, a sexually transmitted 'plague' offers ample opportunity for allegory), but in the hands of the Go-Go boys at Cannon, what could have been another Quatermass and the Pit quickly turns instead to be more Plan 10 From Outer Space. It's full-to-bursting with delirious inanity, be it Frank Finlay's hilarious death scene ("Here I go!"), Peter Firth's grand entrance ("I'm Colonel Caine." "From the SAS?" discreetly shouts Michael Gothard across a room full of reporters: "Gentlemen, that last remark was not for publication. This is a D-Notice situation" he replies to the surprisingly obliging pressmen), the security guards offering Mathilda May's naked space vampire a nice biscuit to stop her escaping, reanimated bodies exploding into dust all over people, the sweaty Prime Minister sucking the life out of his secretary and London filling up with zombie nuns, stockbrokers and joggers as the city gets its most comprehensive on screen trashing since Mrs Gorgo lost junior at Battersea Funfair and went on the rampage. And that's not mentioning the "This woman is a masochist! An extreme masochist!" scene or the great stereophonic echo effect on the male vampire's "It'll be a lot less terrifying if you just come to me" line while a lead-stake wielding Peter Firth adopts his best Action Man voice to reply "I'll do just that!" In one scene alone you have a possessed Patrick Stewart embodying the female in our deeply confused astronaut hero's mind, Steve "I-never-got-over-playing-Charlie-Manson" Railsback and his amazing dancing eyebrows in full-on "Helta-Skelta!" mode trying to resist the temptation to kiss him, the inimitable Aubrey Morris (the only man who makes Freddie Jones look restrained) playing the Home Secretary Sir Percy Heseltine as a kind of demented Brian Rix, Peter Firth (one of those actors who always looks like he must have been a Doctor Who around the time no-one was watching it anymore) hamming up the blasé public school macho in the hope that no-one will ever see it and the peerless reaction shots of John Hallam as the male nurse who keeps on opening the door mid-psychic-tornado to bring in more drugs. As if they needed any more in this film. It's just a shame that Frank Finlay's mad-haired scientist who isn't qualified to certify death on alien life forms (a role originally intended for Klaus Kinski) missed out on the action in that one.
No matter how mad you think the film is, it still manages to get madder still, whether it be a zombie pathologist ("He too needs feeding") exploding all over the Home secretary's suit, Patrick Stewart's blood and entrails forming a naked Mathilda May or the space vampires turning St Paul's Cathedral into the world's biggest laser-show to transport human souls from the London Underground to their geostationary mother ship. I loved every gloriously insane moment. In it's own truly unique way, this might be the greatest film ever made.
The DVD offers the original 116-minute version that opened in the UK rather than the heavily edited 101-minute US version, which not only offers much more hilarity for your dollar, but also fully restores Henry Mancini's score to its original glory (the US version covered a lot of the gaps with additional cues by Michael Kamen and James Guthrie). Although a somewhat surprising choice at first sight, Mancini cut his teeth on many of the classic Universal sci-fi horrors of the 50s and his score is quite superb, with a terrific driving main title that offers a rare reminder of just how interesting he could be away from Blake Edwards. Sadly there's no more than a trailer by way of extras, though it would be nice to hope some day for a special edition with some of the deleted scenes from Hooper's originally intended 128-minute cut: from what's on display here, these might just offer even more comedy gold!
Rating:  - "Life-O-Suction"
Great to finally have the film in my collection, although special effects were more impressive to me at it's time of release. Definately a keeper though.Love the Nudy bits.
Rating:  - Weird movie but the girl makes up for it
This movie is quite weird and it has a very convoluted plot. But the vampire girl makes up for anything in my opinion...
Rating:  - Space Vampires? Who's DUMB idea was that!
Me and my girlfriend just watched this confusing piece of drivel and what can I say but "What the f*** was Tobe Hooper thinking! I mean first we start out with some astronauts scoping out some mysterious space armada for some reason anyway as they go inside they discover 3 naked people 2 being some skinny dudes and 1 being a stunningly gorgeous and hot babe(played by some actress named Mathilda May) who's the spitting image of sexy Alyssa Milano! All that happens after they bring them to earth in London is "All Hell Breaks Loose'! Simply put these alien beings known as "Space Vampires" suck energy out of as many human beings as they come in contact with so that they can stay young or human in appearance or something.(I for one didn't understand their agenda at all!) And to make things more confusing for some reason the sexy naked chick with the heavenly body(no pun intended!) Robs one person in some park of his/her energy leaving as they do a rotted corpse behind and then hijacks the body of some pretty red head named Ellen. Here's the confusing part besides it being unclear why they take the energy and life away from anyone in the first place let alone possess other peoples bodies is unclear but to top it off for some reason we see the Beautiful/Sexy space girl vampire taking over Patrick"Picard"Stewart's body and then not bothering to find another body after taking over both his and the red heads and on top of that she was only able to manifest her original appearance as some pile of blood at this point! As if that isn't confusing enough for whatever reason our main character( who's some american astronaut and the token one at that) is chosen to a)have this esp to track the "space vampire's" down, and b) was chosen to be the space chick's mate. Now why she needs to breed was not clear at all! All I can say is that this movie is really confusing,full of no-name actors,has boring characters and worst of all has a plot that's explained only in parts. If all you want is some awesome special effects,a naked chick, and don't care if it's pointless then this movie's for you if not watch a real scifi classic like Blade Runner,any of the 6 Star Wars movies or even Battlefield Earth!
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