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Rating:  - At least there wont be a sequel
I don't know what it is with American horror cinema these days, its like movies start off with a good idea, and then someone says "what can we do to foul it up as much as humanly possible?". This must be why so many Japanese horror pics are being remade by Hollywood....even WE are getting tired of remaking the same garbage. White Noise starts off with an interesting (albeit formulaic) idea..... Man loses wife whom he loves and realizes he can communicate with her using EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) and instead unleashes something he never intended. Simple right? Well...somewhere between there and the screen this thing got lost. It keeps a few good jumps and jolts, being able to scare you at the best moments, but, that doesn't make up for the endless minutes of Michael Keaton staring at a static filled screen and then doing things that no person in their right mind would do without bringing along backup or at least a weapon. At one point, I even yelled at the screen (much to my girlfriends chagrin), "Keaton! If you go through that door and something kicks your butt, you brought it on yourself idiot!". The bland formula this film follows is so predictable, that not even it's surprise "surprise" ending shocks you, it just leaves you thinking, ahhhh well, at least we wont have a sequel.
Rating: - I Hear Dead People: Good Opening, Muddled Ending
`White Noise' has one brilliant idea in it, but unlike `The Sixth Sense' and `The Ring' it fails to make effective use of it. It is about EVP, or Electronic Voice Phenomenon, strange sound that is recorded on tape with other mysterious noise, supposedly coming from the world of the dead.
Michael Keaton plays Jonathan Rivers, a bereaved husband who thinks he received a message from his dead wife. With a help from an EVP expert (Ian McNeice), he tries to make contact with Anna (Chandra West), but as it turns out, he receives more messages than he had bargained for.
The first half of the film gives successfully spooky atmosphere, but it starts to look incredible even by the standard of supernatural thriller, and it also gets silly as it goes on due to the weak and confusing script. The messages contain some part that suggest some dead people know almost everything (only in your neighborhood, though). In the contrived second half the mysterious messages, which were originally said to have come from `the other side,' turn out something different and even the existence of evil is implied, which can ignore and violate the law of physics. The film changes its rules constantly, making everything hopelessly messy.
In spite of intense acting from Michael Keaton, and good support from Deborah Kara Unger, none of them can save the film from the mess because the characters they play are absolutely unreasonable. `White Noise' begins as `The Sixth Sense,' and ends as `The Ring,' but it becomes neither of them with the muddled conclusion that is more head-scratching than the fate of Samara the video girl.
Rating:  - Not Great But Still Spooky
People have been using Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP) for a number of years. With 2005's "White Noise" the concept finally comes to the screen.
Jonathan Rivers (Michael Keaton) has an ideal, stable life. He's an architect and has just discovered that his wife, Anna (Chandra West), a popular author with a book about to be released, is pregnant. Things take a drastic turn when Anna's abandoned vehicle is discovered but she has disappeared.
Weeks pass without a clue to Anna's whereabouts. Then one day, Jonathan is approached by Raymond Price (Ian McNeice), an expert on EVP who has been receiving messages from Anna. Unconvinced at first, Jonathan then contacts Raymond when strange events begin to happen.
Becoming more obsessed with what he's hearing, Jonathan begins to hear from a number of people from the other side including Anna who seems to give him messages regarding living people in life threatening situations. But not everything Jonathan hears is good. Will he learn about the more sinister messages before it's too late?
There are a number of things I liked about "White Noise". A story about Electronic Voice Phenomenon was interesting and original. It seemed to explain EVP in a way that even if you were unfamiliar with it, you weren't completely lost to what was happening in the movie.
The movie also had some excellent spooky moments. One in particular is Jonathan receiving a call on his cell phone. After realizing the call is from Anna's phone, he rushes home, opens a bag with her cell phone in it. While he's holding her phone, his cell phone rings and guess which number pops up!
"White Noise" had a decent story and good pacing right until the last twenty or so minutes of the film. During this time things seemed to be a little rushed which led to some confusing moments. It seemed moviemakers were trying to tie up all the loose ends in a small time frame while trying to give viewers a quick resolution to what was happening.
Is "White Noise" the greatest movie you'll ever see? No. It's not even the scariest. But it does have thought provoking moments and some spooky scenes.
Rating: - good till the end
This movie suffers the same as many other scary movies, that it is pretty good until the end. The ending does not make sense, and the entire scariness falls apart. Not a bad movie to rent, but definitely not worth buying.
Rating:  - Preparation H for the brain...
This movie is best viewed for purposes of playing the following HideousMovieTrivia game:
Who turned this down before poor ole Micheal Keaton took the assignment
as lead? Let's see...was it:
Bruce Willis?
Tom Hanks?
Kevin Costner?
Then there's who directed this (based on faux-romantic/tragic spacy
style):
Brian DePalma?
The guy who did Sixth Sense?
But this is good for only about 10 or 15 minutes. Then you're stuck with the fim itself.
Acting: Painful. Like the first day at a particularly tough 12 step workout.
Direction: Was anyone there?
Plot: Welcome back, Henry James.
Summary: If you're having trouble getting to sleep - Highly Recommended!
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